Friday, July 25, 2003

Condi's Amazing Stories: a MUST READ ffrom Buzzflash.
Sorry about the ennui from the past couple of days folks; honestly, I'm not going to go jump off a bridge.
it's just that the country--MY country-- is being run into the ground by a bunch of Benedict Arnolds who have sold out their love of country for love of power and love of oil.
When I read message boards like the one at the Washington Post and get to a comment that offends my sensibilities, it is no longer enough for me to argue back. I want to take the conservative jackass and and physically punish them for being stupid. I want to take a large rock and smash them in the teeth everytime I hear the word "patriotic." Whenever i hear someone refer to Bush as "the president" i grind my teeth, and get ready to start punching.
I'm actually kind of excited for Philly's mayoral elections, because there's a tradition of going door to door to woo voters.
You can bet that the first republican who knocks on my door is going to get an earful from me, and will probably get a faceful of my fist.

Maybe I'll invite the sucker in first. "Oh sure, I'd love to hear about your candidate. Hang on, I want to get a drink from the kitchen, I'll be right back," then returning from the kitchen with a large kitchen knife. "OK, now TELL ME ALLLLLL ABOUT YOUR CANDIDATE. AND WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT HEAD START? SIT DOWN, I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE!! Now... let's talk about this tax CUT (making broad slashing motion)your Mr. Bush has ruined the economy with, shal we? Let's talk the shape of our cities now that the budgets been SLASHED Oh, do have some lemonade, I think we'll be here for a LONG time. You have a LOT of explaining to do..."

Oooh, I'm seeing it now. I'm also seeing a less complicated scenario. "Campaigning for who? is he a democrat or a republican? Republican eh, let me get my checkbook." (disappearing into the house, emerging with my baseball bat) "Tell you what, I'm voting with my Louisville this year. You have about 5 seconds to get off my porch, and get out of our neighborhood. And I just used 3 of those seconds...." Swing batter swiiiing!