Response to a Nigerian spam scam

TRANSFER OF USD$22MILLION INTO YOUR ACCOUNT}

ATTENTION: President\CEO.

email.pat_agi@yahoo.com

I, on behalf of my other colleagues from different
organs of Federal Government of Nigeria (FGN) owned
parastatals decided to solicit your assistance as
regards transfer of the above-mentioned amount into
your bank account. This fund accrued from over
invoicing of various contract awarded in my parastatal
to certain Foreign Contractors sometimes ago.

We, as holders of sensitive position in our various
parastatals, were mandated by the Federal Government
to Scrutinise all payments made to certain foreign
Contractors and we discovered that some of the
contracts they executed were grossly over-invoiced
either by omission or commission. In the process the
sum of US$27M (Twenty Seven Million US Dollars only)
was found lying in the parastatal suspense account
after the foreign contractors had been paid their
rightful dues for executing the said contracts.

We all agreed that this over-invoiced amount be
transferred (for our own use) into a bank account
provided by a foreign partner, because we are
government workers and the Code of Conduct does not
allow us to operate foreign accounts.

However, we have succeeded in transferring some of
this money precisely US$5.0M (Five Million US Dollars
only) into a foreign account in MOROCCO (North
Africa), but the provider of the account in MOROCCO is
up to some mischief and refuses to comply to the
earlier mutual agreement by insisting that the total
amount be paid into his nominated bank account before
disbursement will take effect. If for a meagre sum of
US$5.0M (Five Million US Dollars only) we are not
compensated, is it when the balance of US$22M
(Twenty-two Million US Dollars)is transferred that we
will be sure of our full compensation? Of course, this
abuse of trust and inhumanity calls for sober
reflection and search for absolute trust.

Thus we are seeking your unwavering assistance that
the remaining amount of US$22M can be speedily
processed and fully remitted into your nominated bank
account. On successful remittance of the fund into
your account, you will be compensated with 30% of the
amount for your assistance and services.

So far, much have been said and due to our sensitive
positions, we cannot afford a slip in this transaction
neither can we give out identity as regards our
respective offices, but whereby cordial relationship
is established, smooth operations commences, you will
be furnished with details of all you deserves to know.

I am at your disposition to entertain any question
from you with respect to this transaction, so contact
me immediately through my e:mail for further
information on the requirements and procedure for this
transaction.

THIS WHAT I NEED FROM YOU IMMEDIATELY,

1. NAME .COMPANY NAME/ADDRESS/

2. BANK NAME/ADDRESS/ACCOUNT NUMBER/


3 YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS .


Please, treat with the strictest confidentiality and
utmost urgency.

Yours faithfully

DR.PAT AGI

I figured Pat had earned at least a response:

Dear Dr. Agi,

Thank you for trusting me, a complete stranger, with
this grave responsibility. I can assure you, I can be
the parasol. I am sorry about your problems with the
Moroccans, and I am particularly attuned to your use
of the word "mischief," because that is exactly how
Moroccans are: mischievious! I was in Morocco 5 years
ago on business, and all I wanted was to get to the
hotel and the cabbie drove around for almost an hour.
And then the hotel coffee wasn't any good, they didn't
even have Chockfull O Nuts!

Back to your offer. While I am intrigued by your
well-thought out plan, I have a slight problem
providing you with my bank account number. As you may
know, the economy of the United States has become very
worrisome as of late, what with Mr. Bush's tax cuts,
the deficit and of course the cost of fighting the war
on terror. Because of this, I have withdrawn my
actual money from the money bank and have invested it
into a different sort of bank altogether: my money is
now in a sperm bank. That's right: everything I make,
I use to buy, and sell, sperm. I am making a killing
this way: everyone wants to buy sperm. And i am sure
such an investment on your part would make you a
killing as well: a lot of my sperm is bought from
famous celebrities, like Sylvester Stallione, Tattoo,
Conrad Bain, and the guy who used to be in the Dr.
Pepper commercials before he was in "American Werewolf
in London." The most popular sperm so far though is
from former President of the United States, Jerald
Ford. For some reason, people like him a lot,
probably for the Nixon pardon etc.

Dr. Agi, as a doctor, you surely know how necessary
sperm is to a country's economic well being: without
sperm to fertilize the eggs, you don't have people to
put to work in sweatshops. No sperm= no people= no
one to do the work= no money in the bank!

if you send me your bank name, address, account
number, and of course the fax number, and I would be
glad to guide you through the steps of investing in
Celebri-Sperm. I am sure it is going to make a lot of
money, and this is your chance to get in on the ground
floor.
yours truly,
Brendan Skwire
President, Celebri-sperm