> > Dear David Brooks,
> >
> > I have written you several emails in the past, expressing my deep and sincere loathing for you. I find the topics you choose to discuss in your weekly New York Times column to be either fawning of the administration, specious, overly broad, or utterly irrelevant. Your appearances on the Jim Lehrer News Hour are, to my mind, embarrassing: you come off as partisan and pathetic, grasping at straws as your ees art from side to side like a bad Cagney imitator under the third degree.
> >
This perception of untrustiworthiness is only enhanced by your omnipresent five o'clock shadow. It follows you everywhere, calling to mind Homer Simpson or Barney Rubble. Whenever I see you on the television, all I can think is "there's that guy desperate to sell me a car." You are like that guy from Glengary Glen Ross they spoof on "The Simpsons.".
> >
David, for the love of God make up your mind: either shave off that thing before you go on the air or grow a full beard. While your decision will not make me think you suck any less (as my previous emails to you probably indicate), at least you won't look like you have a perpetual hangover.
> >
Yours,
Brendan Skwire