The Cloud's Back

I was expecting to be really depressed yesterday, but I got busy cleaning my house and buying sealant for my deck. I guess I thought I would skate by without incident, but it looks like the Cloud is back, and in a pretty big way. It started moving in around 6:30 this morning as I was thinking about how I have to buy blocks, Duplo Bricks, and other age-appropriate toys for Sam to have around my place, which brought on guilt that I haven't already bought them, which reminded me of how surprised I was when Melissa told me Sam could ride a tricycle, which reminded me how absent I am from his daily life, I mean for fuck's sake how do you not know when your kid learns how to ride a trike which reminded me why I don't have a house filled with toys, and you know the rest of the story, duck and cover, stop drop and roll. Now I'm sitting here feeling hollow, like a babushka doll with the guts thrown away. [Ill wishes, expletives deleted.]
It just doesn't stop hurting. It hurts and hurts and hurts. Anyone read this one in the Times yesterday? I did. Didn't help matters much.

I'm supposed to see Glenn Greenwald tonight, but I believe I'll be skipping out.