Friday, September 09, 2005

"Would Monsieur like some more bullshit? Of course he would..."

One of the sticking points between Melissa and me are the holidays. We are trying to arrange it so we split the holidays so I can have Sam for some of them, and she can have him for others. This year it is my turn top have Sam for Christmas, but the scheduling is not so hot. Melissa is reluctant to ask her folks to drive him halfway to Philadelphia on the December 23rd, when she is going to be on a layover here on her way to track training camp on the 26th. I was worried that my mom was going to be upset about this: she doesn't care about baby Jesus or anything like that, but she loves opening presents and the whole family thing. So I was arguing with Melissa all last week about this. "It's our turn. We've agreed on that." "Yes, but it's inconvenient for my folks and a waste of money when I'll just be there the day after." And so on and so forth.

Personally, I could give a shit whether he's here on the 23rd or the 26th. I literally do not give a fuck when Sam comes down, I'll be happy either way. And so I was heartened when my father mentioned to me yesterday that Christmas wasn't as important to Mom anymore as it was in the past, and if it was easier for Melissa to bring Sam on the 26th, that would probably be OK.

Well, he was wrong.

When I called my mother, not an hour ago, she flipped out about Christmas. The whole fucking 9 yards. The first time I hung up on her, it was after a series of vindictive comments about Melissa's selfishness, how selfish her parents were, they get everything and we get nothing. The second time it was because of the bitter crying. I am normally sympathetic to my mom crying, but right now I'm just pissed off. This kind of behavior is just not helpful to me, especially when Melissa and I are working so hard to come up with a schedule for Sam that we can both live with, and to be a team for Sam even if we're not a couple anymore. It is incredibly difficult.

Melissa, I stand amazed: you and I are the ones who should be at each other's throats and we're acting like sane, rational adults I'd say 90% of the time, if not more than that.

If you want to know why I get so upset about things sometimes, it is because I get it from both ends. "Both ends", HAH: at this point, I'm getting it in every orifice I have, especially my ear. If it's not disagreements with you, it's worry about Sam. If I'm not worrying about Sam, I'm missing him. You're mad at me, I'm mad at you, my parents are behaving like hysterics, and your parents hate my guts. I swear to God, it makes me want to sell my house and move to Gilligan's frikkin' Island. "No phone, no lights, no motor car, not a single luxury/ Like Robinson Crusoe, as primitive as can be." Too bad Gilligan's dead.

Frankly, I give up. The only reason I wanted him down before Christmas was to make my mom happy. I told my dad if they want him so bad for the holiday, then
THEY should take it up with Melissa's parents, preferably a discussion between the two grandfathers. They're both level-headed and rational, and maybe they can forge a compromise. The Grandmas seem to be incapable of taking the high road.

My plate is too full of bullshit to carry water for anyone else's agenda other than my own anymore. Why should Melissa and I have to suffer because of our parents' intractibility?

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