http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/news/nation/6277298.htm
Just because.
And hey, the Philadelphia Daily News published my letter!
They did an article on Monday about public urination in Philly. It was right to the point: people piss everywhere in our city, and I'm one of them. that's one of the benefits of being a guy: if there's a line for the bathroom, you can always run out, find a dumpster to stand behind and pee away. Thing is of course is it makes the city stink. And if you're downtown and you're not willing to spend a couple of bucks on a cup of coffee or a drink, you kind of have no choice BUT to pee in the street, as most businesses reserve their bathrooms for patrons only. the answer is public pay toilets, a la Paris. Yes, I know we hate the French these days (well, some of you stupid motherfuckers hate the French; I personally love those frog-eating, beret-headed nuts and their Eiffel Tower and their wine too), but at least since the 1980s, they got wise to the Seine smelling like a sewer and put up these great self-cleaning toilets. When I was 14, my family took a trip to Europe, and I gotta tellya, i was super-impressed with these shitters. Not only did they clean themselves, they looked like something Dr. Who should be flying around in. Plus, the toilets had recordings of American rock from the 1950s piped into the sanctum pooptorum. There is nothing like getting serendaded by Fats Domino's "Blueberry Hill" while taking a leak in a cement time machine toilet. Not even Bill gates' plans for internet toilets beat that.
So anyway, I wrote a letter to the editor and it got published. Whoopee, my big moment of fame and it's about piss.
Just because.
And hey, the Philadelphia Daily News published my letter!
They did an article on Monday about public urination in Philly. It was right to the point: people piss everywhere in our city, and I'm one of them. that's one of the benefits of being a guy: if there's a line for the bathroom, you can always run out, find a dumpster to stand behind and pee away. Thing is of course is it makes the city stink. And if you're downtown and you're not willing to spend a couple of bucks on a cup of coffee or a drink, you kind of have no choice BUT to pee in the street, as most businesses reserve their bathrooms for patrons only. the answer is public pay toilets, a la Paris. Yes, I know we hate the French these days (well, some of you stupid motherfuckers hate the French; I personally love those frog-eating, beret-headed nuts and their Eiffel Tower and their wine too), but at least since the 1980s, they got wise to the Seine smelling like a sewer and put up these great self-cleaning toilets. When I was 14, my family took a trip to Europe, and I gotta tellya, i was super-impressed with these shitters. Not only did they clean themselves, they looked like something Dr. Who should be flying around in. Plus, the toilets had recordings of American rock from the 1950s piped into the sanctum pooptorum. There is nothing like getting serendaded by Fats Domino's "Blueberry Hill" while taking a leak in a cement time machine toilet. Not even Bill gates' plans for internet toilets beat that.
So anyway, I wrote a letter to the editor and it got published. Whoopee, my big moment of fame and it's about piss.
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