Friday, December 23, 2005

I'm Afraid To Jump Into Festivus

All over the blogosphere it seems, bloggers are celebrating the Festivus tradition, "The Airing of Grievances."

Courtesy of Crooks and Liars, here's John Cole, one of the only conservative blogs I really enjoy.

I don't know if I should even wade into my airing. It could turn into the 17 days of Festivus. But hey, why the fuck not? In fact, I'll make it a challenge and avoid the obvious, and perhaps more personal, topics I've gone about recently.

Philadelphia: Why do you have to be such dirty litter bugs. You throw your trash everywhere. My neighbor told me he saw a hole in the street left by the water department filled with trash, including a broken refrigerator, within hours. This summer, I spent about $30.00 on patch kits and tubes because the fucking city is littered with shattered bottles and windows. Have some fucking dignity, you fucking slobs and pick up your goddamn mess. Oh, and no fair sending it to Haiti.

WXTU 92.5: Due to lax FCC rules, you have a stranglehold on country music in Philly. You abuse this monopoly by playing only the worst contemporary country I have ever heard, and more commercials than nay other station I have ever heard. I'm not an unreasonable man, WXTU and Beasley Broadcasting: if you could just mix in some of the legends like Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Hank Williams (Senior, Junior, AND III), the Lonestars and Rascall Flatts of the genre woulfd be MORE than tolerable. If modern rock stations can pull out the Van Halen and Aerosmith on a regular basis, you can give your forebears some respect too (and give long-suffering listeners a break).

And speaking of rock radio, what the fuck is wrong with you and your nearly complete lack of support for local bands? Why don't I hear local bands like the Capitol Years, The Brides, The Teeth, and others on your stations mixed in with the modern and classic rock? Why must we have a steady diet of garbage? And yeah, that INCLUDES you too WXPN, although by comparison you're head and shoulders above the rest. It's embarassing: for such a big city, our radio sucks. The only truly community station I know is WRDV out of Warminster and it barely comes in.

The Republican Party and especially Arlen Specter, who knows better: Your irresponsible and selfish vote to cut Medicare, Medicaid, food stamps, student loans. and child support enforcement funding in the face of historic deficits is disgusting enough. The fact that the cuts cover only about 2% of the deficit, while needless and damaging tax cuts that favor the ultra-wealthy, flies in the face of decency. You suck.

BLOGGER: YOU ARE SUCH FUCKING ASSHOLES IT IS UNBELIEVABLE. I'M SO LEAVING YOU AFTER THE HOLIDAY NONSENSE IS OVER. I HATE YOU FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY BOWELS, WHICH ARE CURRENTLY DIGESTING A GREASY ASS CHEESESTEAK. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.

And I will leave it at that for now.

1 Comments:

Blogger Tim said...

I came up with a new name this year for the holidaze: Messtivus. If Festivus is for the rest of us, Messtivus is for the worst of us. The widespread intense hatred and nastiness that I encountered -- coupled with a particular personal void, exacerbated, naturally, by a lack of money (no money, no honey...) -- nearly crushed me this year. It triggered my unhealthy escape mode and left me sour and depressed. I am so glad this crap is over.

5:39 PM  

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