Thursday, February 24, 2005

Letter to


For God's sake, I have tried to unsubscribe at least 4 times from your utterly useless service. The "networking contacts" you send me have NOTHING TO DO with my line of work at all. The jobs you send me range from positions I am unqualified for ("President of Aerodynamics Company") to positions I am overqualified for ("Cashier at McDonalds") to ludicrous "work-from-home-stuffing-envelopes" scams (no example necessary, but apparently I can earn millions). I see better help-wanted ads in the back of "Hustler."
To date, I have not received one single response to any of the resumes I have sent out through your service, not a single response. In short your company,, FUCKING SUCKS. I hate it. I tell people every chance I get that you suck. Also, I am copying this email and posting it to my blog, so my readers will know that you suck.What a fucking waste of time it has been signing up for You are worse than useless.
Go fuck yourselves, but before you do, please please please for the love of God, unsubscribe me from your ubiquitous emails.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Channel 48 WGTW was an oddball UHF station, based out of Burlington NJ, broadcasting reruns of "The A-Team" and other relics from the 1980s all day before selling out to infomercials after 10:00 or so. This all changed in October 2004, when the station was sold to the Trinity Broadcasting Network, a Christian station. I don't watch the station, but tonight I was flipping channels and caught "A Bluegrass Homecoming." Boy was that great, all bluegrass music, awesome stuff.
Then after the program came on, Chuck Norris and his Barbie-doll looking wife came on and told me that the Bible belongs in public school so God will guide our nation in the right direction.

"You may be asking, 'Is this legal?'", said Mrs. Norris. "Well the answer is yes. The Bible is being taught as literature and history in 35 states."
"Our country was founded on Christian principles. The Founding Fathers never meant for the Bible to be out of the classroom," said Chuck, adding "Heaven know we need the guidance."

Bah... never mind that Jefferson, Paine, Washington, Adams, and many others were Deists, who professed belief in God, but no belief in religion at all. Chuck, Mrs. Norris, and the rest of the slackjaws out there really need to read "Age of Reason," by Tom Paine.

I believe in one God, and no more; and I hope for happiness beyond this life.

I believe in the equality of man; and I believe that religious duties consist in doing justice, loving mercy, and endeavoring to make our fellow-creatures happy.

But, lest it should be supposed that I believe in many other things in addition to these, I shall, the progress of this work, declare the things I do not believe, and my reasons for not believing them.

I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Greek church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My mind is my own church.

All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.


Whenever I read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness with which more than half of the Bible is filled, it would be more consistent htat we call it the word of a demon, than the word of God. It is a history of wickedness, that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind: and, for my part, I sincerely detest it, as I detest everything that is cruel.

Yup, that's our Tommy. The guy who wrote "Common Sense."
Here's more.
So please, spare me the bullshit about the founding fathers. Thomas Paine would kick your ass Chuck, if not with a karate kick than with his tremendous brain.

On the other hand, thanks for the bluegrass gospel, TBN.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Quote of the Day (from Cheap bastard, posting at atrios's comments page):

Anyone surprised with the fact that some prostitute with good connections can take a weekend seminar on journalism and produce virtually the same product as ninety-five percent of the reporters out there?No? Me neither.

Cheap bastard, you hit the nail on the head.
It is fascinating, frustrating, and infuriating to see the media deliberately ignore the far-reaching implications of the Jeff Gannon story, before which Jordan Eason's unpleasant comments pale.
[For the record, I have no idea what the right wing is complaining about with regard to Jordan. I have on occasion visited those swamps called The Corner and Free Republic, and I regularly see people arguing in favor of killing journalists. Why then the problem with Jordan, who seems to confirm that that they've gotten their wish? But to get back to Gannon...]

Let's compare the two stories.
Eason Jordan, in a conversation, said that journalists were being targeted byt he military. He backed off the statements later saying he meant "only accidentally." Apparently, this brought shame to CNN and he has resigned.

Jeff Gannon is the fake name of JD Guckert, a fake reporter for the fake news organization Talon news, who was allowed to use his fake name as a participant in the White House Press corps by Scott McClellan, who knew Gannon's real name (in bed together so to speak, no pun intended..yet). Gannon/Guckert would lob fake questions at Mr. McClellan and to Mr. Bush. Gannon/Guckert is also the first person to mention the Valerie Plame memo, in an interview with Joe Wilson, Ms. Plame's husband. Within days of Gannon/Guckert's exposure as a plant, followed by his resignation, it comes to light that the man runs/ participates in an online gay escort service (prostitution is illegal) with a military theme, including explicit pictures of Gannon/Guckert.

Now: even granted that the proof of the prostitution came in the early afternoon, why would the Jim Lehrer News Hour focus nearly exclusively on the Eason story, which is simply offensive, and not on the Gannon story, which involves a criminal having access to top secret documents in the White House?
I've yet to see ABC, CBS, or NBC news, but I ain't expecting to be surprised.


many of the links are NSFW.
Please read this important story about Jeff Gannon, the fake news reporter with the fake name working for the fake news agency to ask Bush fake questions. When exposed, fake Jeff lied and said he wasn't invovled with gay male escort services, when the truth is there are dozens of shots of the guy advertising his services and waving his little soldier around for all to see (including a peepee shot).

Monday, February 07, 2005

For the benefit of all of you that don't give a turd about football, yesterday's post was related to the Eagles inability to win the SuperBowl.
C'est la vie.

A note or two on hermitude. I go through these phases of not wanting to show my face anywhere, and I am in one right now. For the past few weeks, I've been uncharacteristically buying cases of beer and not leavign the house unless absolutely necessary. Today was typical: I woke up around 8:30 or so, had soem coffeee and began searching for work. As the day wore on, I began to get hungry, but as anyone who's gotten lost in the internet knows, you can ignore all sorts of bodily functions for just... one... more... click!

I eventually decided I had to eat something, but also knew that commiting to eating meant a commitment to go outside and buy dish soap: the bottle went dry the other day and the dishes have been piling up. So I reluctantly went out (god forbid) in the sunny, 50 degree or so day and went (gasp) a whole 2 blocks to buy the soap and come back.

Later I felt guilty and went out to go to the bank, but the effort felt forced. Since my banking I have done nothing but read the news, look for work and write letters (found some interesting positions at craigslist earlier today), and sit on my fat ass. I've been totally sedentary all fucking day. I'm a sloth. I have two more beers left in the fridge, and I'm kind of hoarding them as my sleeping pills. But damn I'm thirsty....


Sunday, February 06, 2005

SuperBowl Bloggin'

Before I begin blogging the Bowl, or more accurately my conversion to a football fan, I have to comment on what is the lamest pregame I have seen. I can barely watch.

Right now I'm watching Charlie Daniels, who is playing what I believe may be the only song he knows anymore, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." The guy waddles onto the stage, this self-important troll and begins sawing away at that godawful ditty.

He must be a nightmare at parties. "Oh shit, here comes Chuck with the fiddle. How much you bet we're gonna have to hear that one about the Devil?"

"Yee-haw! I'm a-glad as I can be to be hear at yore garden party, and ah'm a-gonna express mah gratitude by playin' ya'll a little song I call The Dev--"

"No, no somebody stop him, stop him!" A martyr launches out from stage left, the guy blocking the bullet, except he's going for Charlie's bow, and you hear him yell in slow motion "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Seriously, that's all Charlie has to offer now: jingo and the Devil Went Down to Georgia.

Anyhow, Chuck's on stage as part of country star Gretchen Wilson's show. There is a crowd of about 60 people on the gridiron, jumping up and down and dancing (sort of) to Gretchen's "I'm Here for the Party." She has another big hit "Red Neck Woman". She could be good, you want her to be good... but she sucks, like 90% OF THE REST OF CONTEMPORARY COUNTRY MUSIC. And what's with the fake crowd? It must look as surreal from up in the stands as it does from my TV, this kind of simulated mini-party that you watch but don't really participate in. At the restaurant, one of the cookies we offer for dessert is the snickerdoodle. Now, I'm not one for sweets in general, but the snickerdoodle cookie sucks: it's a dry shortbread style cookie, the kind that come in festive tins every Christmas. The name snickerdoodle with it name that cries out "I must be delicious, since even my name implies laughter!" does not deliver on its promise. The same is true for the fake crowd jumping up and down for Gretchen Wilson. If she's so great, let her sing to the crowd in the stands like any other arena band would.

But Charlie sucks worse than Gretchen ever could. Someone dig that man a grave and put one of his feet on a banana peel. Charlie actually used to be cool, but then he became this born-again fundamentalist, spouting mindless pro-Bush slogans on his website. Gimme a fucking break.
Earlier during the pregame I saw Bill Clinton and George Bush Senior expounding on the SuperBowl with the rest of the hosts. "Great," I mumbled. "Here we have the last decent president and the hand behind the current Resident. Go figure." This was followed by a tribute to the Declaration of Independence, including the part about the citizen's duty to throw off tyrannical governments. Food for thought, Poppy, food for thought.

So anyway, over the past few years I have to my surprise become something of a fan of the game. My former housemate, Chris Dennstadt, is a rabid fan. When we lived together, he would be watching the game on the TV, checking the radio constantly for scores from the other teams, AND constantly monitoring the internet on my computer, watching other games and keeping score, while discussing all the games with his equally obsessive girlfriend. Game day filled our apartment with howls of "GET 'EMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM," "GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGGOOOOOO," and of course "NOOOOOOOOO!" Chris and I liked to drink together, so I would inevitably end up on the couch myself. It's fun to root for your home team, even if you don't know what's going on.

What has happened recently is that I actually became interested int he strategy of the game. I got tired of sounding like an ignoramus when the topic of football came up, and paid a visit to the wikipedia. Now that I've gotten a grasp of the rules, it has only made me like the game even more. My father, who hates football, can't understand what has happened. I try to tell him that I've developed an appreciation for the strategy, the fluidity of the game, and he just isn't having it.

[Game day commercial criticism: I just saw a commercial about how great TV is. Oh my God, I'm going to be sick. On the other hand the Tostitos ad was funny.]

I think kickoff is coming anytime now. I'm supposed to meet up with Ken Rosso, but I may just hide out in the house.

Nope, no kickoff yet. An introduction to the Iggles and the Pats... coming up, a tribute to "the greatest generation" and a military tribute to the national anthem.
The Ford commercial featuring the bikers sucked. "We don't just maike our trucks tough, we make YOU tough?" What kind of bullshit hard sell is that? Way to go, scrapple-for-brains, encourage MORE aggressive driving.

Now they're honoring the "Greatest Generation" with a brass flourish and Michael Douglas em-ceeing, including the Tuskegee Airmen (with no mention of what was done to them). Now, I'm all for honoring WW2 veterans, indeed all veterans, but isn't it more respectful to do that by making sure Social Security remains solvent, making sure our current troops have proper armor (never mind not sending them into harm's way for personal profit). Not cutting funds for VA hospitals would be nice too. Yes, I know, it's the SuperBowl not Congress, but still. I just want to watch the game: if you're going to insist on shoving all this America rah-rah stuff at me, and I mean above and beyond the National Anthem, which I don't mind at all, I'm going to point out the bucket of hypocrisy you're digging it out of.

First quarter just started. More at the commercial.

Worst Diet Pepsi commercial ever.
"The Ameriquest Insurance Halftime Show". HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Good to see not succumbing to the new anti-indecency fervor, great commercial, and with tits!

Diet Pepsi commercial 2, with the Queer Eye guy: clever enough, sort of.

The cell phone ad with the guy who learns he's "sharing?" his girlfriend was lame and offensive.

New Simpsons looks bad.

Awesome run by TO! And then that whole illegal play the Pats just got flagged on!

I just dropped by dailykos, where there's a slow SuperBowl thread. Same at atrios.

[On another note, I have begun to personify the Murphy's Law lyric "Sit Home and Rot"...]


[I buy a case of beer every week and stay home. I don't even leave during the day, just putter around the house. This was true before I got fired from the restaurant, a story I will go into later this week, because it's pretty funny. Anyway, I find myself reluctant to leave the house unless I have a gig or there's some shopping to do. Although yesterday I went on a longish bike ride in the southwest suburbs, I came back feeling the whole exercise had been pointless. Tomorrow, depending on whether I have interviews lined up, and of course on the weather, I may try a ride up to Valley Forge. But I am making myself absent from the bars and coffeehouses these days, bored with the people around me and feeling useless overall. After last night's gig I left within an hour of getting off stage, not wanting to deal with people. I went home less than totally inebriated after Friday's gig at Dawson's too, and left Fiume early on Thursday.

I'm also depressed most of the time now. I miss my girlfriend and I want to start fathering. I just want life to not be on pause anymore: is that too much to ask? There's a goddam baby that needs his father, and a father that needs to do everything that's required of him, and then some. This half-ass life is no life at all.]


As I've said earlier, I'm happy no matter who wins: but I do want the Eagles to win more.

More after the game.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Media Addresses

Although I haven't blogged politics in awhile, this email flush is really bringing up some intense feelings.

Here's a great list of email contacts in the media my brother sent me some time ago.
PS: I'm going to try and bring back comments.

US RADIO NETWORKS:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

NY RADIO STATIONS:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

UNITED STATES NEWSPAPERS:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

NEW YORK MEDIA (TV - RADIO - NEWSPAPERS NYC & State),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

US TELEVISION NETWORKS:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

UNITED STATES SENATE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

CANADIAN PAPERS & TELEVISION:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, General E-mail,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

AUSTRALIAN PAPERS:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,




GERMAN NEWSPAPERS:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

NEW YORK MEDIA (TV ? RADIO ? NEWSPAPERS NYC & State),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

FIREFIGHTERS UNIONS:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, BHLOGO1@AOL.COM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,>,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ehargis',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, JMFerner@AOL.Com,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

US TELEVISION NETWORKS:,,,,,,,,,,,, virginia.moseley@abc.

A Letter to Dr. Agi

[This may have been published a year or two ago on a another portion of bcftu. I can't remember.]

>--- DR PAT AGI wrote:
> >
> > ATTENTION: President\CEO.
> >
> >
> >
> > I, on behalf of my other colleagues from different
> > organs of Federal Government of Nigeria (FGN) owned
> > parastatals decided to solicit your assistance as
> > regards transfer of the above-mentioned amount into
> > your bank account. This fund accrued from over
> > invoicing of various contract awarded in my
> > parastatal
> > to certain Foreign Contractors sometimes ago.
> >
> > We, as holders of sensitive position in our various
> > parastatals, were mandated by the Federal Government
> > to Scrutinise all payments made to certain foreign
> > Contractors and we discovered that some of the
> > contracts they executed were grossly over-invoiced
> > either by omission or commission. In the process
> > the
> > sum of US$27M (Twenty Seven Million US Dollars only)
> > was found lying in the parastatal suspense account
> > after the foreign contractors had been paid their
> > rightful dues for executing the said contracts.
> >
> > We all agreed that this over-invoiced amount be
> > transferred (for our own use) into a bank account
> > provided by a foreign partner, because we are
> > government workers and the Code of Conduct does not
> > allow us to operate foreign accounts.
> >
> > However, we have succeeded in transferring some of
> > this money precisely US$5.0M (Five Million US
> > Dollars
> > only) into a foreign account in MOROCCO (North
> > Africa), but the provider of the account in MOROCCO
> > is
> > up to some mischief and refuses to comply to the
> > earlier mutual agreement by insisting that the total
> > amount be paid into his nominated bank account
> > before
> > disbursement will take effect. If for a meagre sum
> > of
> > US$5.0M (Five Million US Dollars only) we are not
> > compensated, is it when the balance of US$22M
> > (Twenty-two Million US Dollars)is transferred that
> > we
> > will be sure of our full compensation? Of course,
> > this
> > abuse of trust and inhumanity calls for sober
> > reflection and search for absolute trust.
> >
> > Thus we are seeking your unwavering assistance that
> > the remaining amount of US$22M can be speedily
> > processed and fully remitted into your nominated
> > bank
> > account. On successful remittance of the fund into
> > your account, you will be compensated with 30% of
> > the
> > amount for your assistance and services.
> >
> > So far, much have been said and due to our sensitive
> > positions, we cannot afford a slip in this
> > transaction
> > neither can we give out identity as regards our
> > respective offices, but whereby cordial relationship
> > is established, smooth operations commences, you
> > will
> > be furnished with details of all you deserves to
> > know.
> >
> > I am at your disposition to entertain any question
> > from you with respect to this transaction, so
> > contact
> > me immediately through my e:mail for further
> > information on the requirements and procedure for
> > this
> > transaction.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Please, treat with the strictest confidentiality and
> > utmost urgency.
> >
> > Yours faithfully
> >

My response to the good Doctor

>Date: Fri, 8 Aug 2003 10:48:43 -0700 (PDT)
>Dear Dr. Agi,
>Thank you for trusting me, a complete stranger, with
>this grave responsibility. I can assure you, I can be
>the parasol. I am sorry about your problems with the
>Moroccans, and I am particularly attuned to your use
>of the word "mischief," because that is exactly how
>Moroccans are: mischievious! I was in Morocco 5 years
>ago on business, and all I wanted was to get to the
>hotel and the cabbie drove around for almost an hour.
>And then the hotel coffee wasn't any good, they didn't
>even have Chockfull O Nuts!
>Back to your offer. While I am intrigued by your
>well-thought out plan, I have a slight problem
>providing you with my bank account number. As you may
>know, the economy of the United States has become very
>worrisome as of late, what with Mr. Bush's tax cuts,
>the deficit and of course the cost of fighting the war
>on terror. Because of this, I have withdrawn my
>actual money from the money bank and have invested it
>into a different sort of bank altogether: my money is
>now in a sperm bank. That's right: everything I make,
>I use to buy, and sell, sperm. I am making a killing
>this way: everyone wants to buy sperm. And i am sure
>such an investment on your part would make you a
>killing as well: a lot of my sperm is bought from
>famous celebrities, like Sylvester Stallione, Tattoo,
>Conrad Bain, and the guy who used to be in the Dr.
>Pepper commercials before he was in "American Werewolf
>in London." The most popular sperm so far though is
>from former President of the United States, Jerald
>Ford. For some reason, people like him a lot,
>probably for the Nixon pardon etc.
>Dr. Agi, as a doctor, you surely know how necessary
>sperm is to a country's economic well being: without
>sperm to fertilize the eggs, you don't have people to
>put to work in sweatshops. No sperm= no people= no
>one to do the work= no money in the bank!
>if you send me your bank name, address, account
>number, and of course the fax number, and I would be
>glad to guide you through the steps of investing in
>Celebri-Sperm. I am sure it is going to make a lot of
>money, and this is your chance to get in on the ground
>yours truly,
>Brendan Skwire
>President, Celebri-sperm

Weird Stuff From My Inbox

I am flushing out a whole bunch of emails today, and will be posting a number of odder links my weird-ass friends have sent me. A bunch of these are not safe for work.
Like this one: There is no such thing as this fetish. This MUST be a joke.
Gory war pictures:
April Winchell is safe for work.
More war: NSFW.